Why is your cat not affectionate?

Many people say cat's aren't neighborly creatures. In fact, most cats are warm, loving animals who want to show affection. But like any other relationship, the one with our cat can hit some rough spots. The big question when that happens is—how can I help my cat be more affectionate?

Get your cat active before you try to snuggle.

Jackson Galaxy says, "Proactivity is key, folks. You gotta play with your cat." He's right. Give your cat access totoys, gadgets, and games to engage his mind and exercise his body. A standard red laser pointer, aneco-friendly toy, or acat-friendly app can help your cat relax.

For downtime, don't leave your cat to find his own activities. Instead, providea window-seat bed where your cat can watch the birds at the feeder or observe the world passing by. All that healthy stimulation will tire him out, making snuggling on your lap seem more appealing.

Hold and pet your cat correctly.

If it seems like your cat hates being held, she does. No matter what treat you may be offering, a cat who doesn't want to be in your arms will find a way to get free. To get a cat to like you, make sure you are picking up, holding, and petting the animal correctly.

Training consultant Mikkel Becker says the more points of your cat's body that touch yours, the more secure your cat feels. How do you make your cat secure? You can start by picking up the animal onlywhen she wants to be picked up. Is she purring, rubbing against your legs, or chatting? That's a good sign she's ready to socialize. Crouch down, place your hand under your cat's rib cage, and use your other hand to support her hind legs. Pull the cat against your chest. Let your cat find the position most comfortable for her.

When petting your cat, make sure not to overdo it. That full-body stroke that most dogs love can overstimulate a cat. Instead, try holding your finger out for the cat to rub against you. Letting a cat come to you is the surest, safest way to gain a cat's affection and help a skittish cat feel more comfortable.

Keep up with the basics.

Does your cat have high-quality food? Plenty of fresh water? Access to aclean litterboxrecently filled with fresh litter? Something challenging to do? The occasional healthy treat? These things can help turn a huffy cat into a relaxed one willing to cuddle up at night or for a quick session on your lap.

Many cats grow more affectionate with age.

Living with a senior cat can be rewarding since they take to cuddling and snuggling with pleasure during their golden years. With these guys, you definitely want to watch out for their comfort, keep up with their meds, and give them plenty of food and water.

Many new cat parents askHow can I get my cat to like me?In most cases,our cats already love us. We need to learn how to receive it in a cat-friendly way.

Do you have a story about helping a cold or churlish cat find his warmhearted nature? Email us back, and share!  

17 April 2019

Grumpy Cat’s “cattitude” has been a popular internet meme, but having a cat like Sir Grumpy is not what most new kitten parents have in mind for their babies. Most of them just want to raise a sweet, friendly cat. But just like human children, cat temperaments differ.

However, following these 6 tips can help you train your kitten to enjoy human contact, be less anxious around noises and unfamiliar objects, and generally grow into a well-socialised cat:

1. Don’t Treat Your Kitten Like an Adult

Ideally, kittens need to spend the first 8 weeks with their mom and siblings—if that isn’t possible, you may need to bottle-feed, cuddle, and nurture your little kitten. This will require nearly around-the-clock care, the younger the kitten is. If your kitten is younger than 8 weeks, the same care you give to ensure its good health will help it to begin to rely on and trust you as its human parent. Bear in mind that at this age, you will need to:

• Bottle feed special kitty formula to your kitten every 3 hours until it is ready to wean and begin solid foods (a gradual process)
• Cuddle and keep the kitten warm the same way its mother and siblings would if they were all together
• You’ll even need to help a kitten under this age go to the bathroom by gently stimulating its bowels as its body may not be able to do it alone just yet
• Keep your kitten clean and away from other pets and older cats as its immune system is not strong enough, and it may not yet be old enough to start kitten vaccinations.

Learn more about the developmental stages of kittens and take appropriate care at each stage.

2. Gentleness Breeds Gentleness

Regardless of how many weeks old your kitten is, you will need to treat it with gentleness if you want it to learn the best way for it to interact with others, whether animal or human.

Use these gentleness tips to condition your kitties so they trust you and learn about gentleness:

• Stay close and cuddle frequently, keeping it warm and cozy
• Pet frequently and affectionately
• Use a soft voice and say its name frequently
• Groom your kitten frequently so it gets used to being brushed and cleaned
• Engage in frequent playtime as it gets older and more energetic — As kittens get older, they have a lot more energy to spare, so playtime is an important way to help it socialise and interact with you and other humans in the home

3. Reward Good Behavior

Kittens can’t be “naughty”—they just do what comes naturally. So, don’t get angry or yell at your kitten. Instead, re-direct your kitten to a toy or scratching post if they bite or scratch during play—don’t censure. In fact, make sure to have safe, quiet places for your kitten to rest if it becomes overwhelmed, and a designated scratching post for it to use when its natural cat inclination strikes.

After a fun playtime, reward your kitten with a special treat and lots of affection if it has behaved well. (Just be sure not to give too many treats at a time so it doesn’t become overweight. Limit them to less than 10% of your kitten’s daily caloric intake, with the other 90% being a highly-nutritious kitten food.)

4. Socialise & Condition

It’s very important not to isolate your kittens, particularly once they’ve been weaned and had their vaccinations, or they won’t be used to people and other animals as adults. As they grow beyond 8 weeks of age, make sure to include them in more appropriate social interactions with humans and other animals in the home. For instance:

• Introduce them to friends and family
• Introduce them as early as possible to gentle, cat-friendly dogs. This can help a kitten grow out of her instinctive fear of dogs and make the home more peaceable when both types of pets are in the home
• Play music, vacuum, and do other normal, noisy activities so they get used to them early and aren’t afraid of loud noises later on
• Provide lots of playtime with toys and safe objects like boxes, but be sure to be personally involved.

5. Be Present for Playtime

The importance of personal engagement with your kitten cannot be understated. The more you and other family members are directly involved in face-to-face, hand-to-paw playtime, the easier it will be for your kitten to engage with other humans in a friendly way.

6. Keep Your Kitten Healthy

Behaviour is often a secret indicator of how your cat feels. If she is feeling under-the-weather, she may not want to socialise or be affectionate. So, keeping your kitten healthy and providing it with the best nutrition for growth and development will help you raise an affectionate cat. Ensure your kitten gets all of the essential preventative veterinary care like vaccinations and de-worming and keep them on a healthy diet so they always feel their best and act their best.

And if you’re looking for a way to better manage your cat’s well-being, contact us at Knose and find your plan today. We provide individualised pet care plans that may prevent certain emergencies. They are tailored for your pet’s needs and give you some peace of mind.

Are you eager to learn more about the best way to care for your kittens? Get more kitten care wisdom by subscribing to Knose’s pet health tips today.

As we know, all cats are different and have their own personalities. They show affection in their own way, with some cats being very obviously affectionate and others less so. Some cats are friendly and enjoy having a close relationship with their owners. Other cats may be indifferent to human interaction or even avoid humans altogether.

Your cat’s personality is based on many factors and this can contribute to how affectionate they are or how they show it. Cats display affection in many different ways and we’ll discuss these signs below.

Subtle Signs Of Feline Affection

We know the obvious signs of feline affection, for example, a cat that approaches us and is trying to be petted with lots of purring, or a typical lap cat that loves being near their owner. Some cat breeds like that Siamese are very vocal when showing affection. But you can learn to recognize some more subtle signs of feline affection.

Body language and vocalizations can help cat owners recognize more subtle signs that a cat is showing us affection. It’s helpful to understand these signs as you may think that your cat doesn’t like you or isn’t showing affection, but it may actually be displaying a subtle sign of affection.

Affectionate signs from your cat include:

• Approaching you or relaxing close to you (napping)
• Head butting/bobbing into you
• Purring
• Kneading paws (making bread)
• Rolling on back in front of you (don’t rub their tummy!)
• Slow blinking (relaxed)
• Approaching you with their tail raised and hooked/question mark position
• Rubbing their cheek against you

Subtle positive body language signs include:

• Ears slightly forward and raised
• Relaxed whiskers
• Relaxed facial expression (this is a bit harder to notice initially)
• Normal pupils that are not too dilated or constricted (the pupils may get a bit dilated during playtime or excitement)
• Relaxed body posture (e.g., stretched out, rolling, lying out)

Positive cat vocalizations include:

The above signs are all positive signals that a cat likes you or even loves you!

Affectionate cats act relaxed in your presence and sometimes even initiate affection. Remember, that not all cats want to sit on your lap or have cuddles, but this doesn’t mean that they don’t enjoy being around you.

If your cats is showing any signs from above, it means that they are comfortable and happy around you and you can be assured that your cat loves you.

We’ve covered obvious and subtle signs of affection but what if your cat isn’t displaying any of these signs?

Some signs that a cat doesn’t want affection or human interaction include:

• Raised hair on back or tail (called piloerection)
• Cowering away/keeping body close to the ground
• Ears flat against the back of their head or side of head
• Very dilated or constricted pupils
• Hissing, yowling or very loud meowing
• Tail swishing from side to side
• Staring, no blinking
• Not wanting to be close to you, trying to get farther away from you

If a cat is showing some of the signs above, it’s important not to approach them.  The cat is likely to be anxious and fearful, and may become aggressive if approached. It’s important to respect the signals that a cat is giving you. The above signs indicate that they don’t want to be approached.

Why Are Some Cats Less Affectionate Than Others?

Kittens that don’t get socialization at the right age may grow up to be disinterested in humans or even fearful.

As we mentioned above, all cats are different and have different personalities. This is based on many factors, some of which we have no control over. One of the factors is the cat’s genetics.

If the cat’s parents were fearful of humans and had little interaction with them, this can pass onto the kittens of those parents. For this reason, breeders will often breed from friendly parent cats.

Another important factor is the cat’s socialization period as a kitten. The socialization period is between 2 to 7 weeks old when the kitten’s brain is still developing and they’re learning what is threatening and non-threatening.

It’s a crucial time for kittens to become familiarized with humans, other pets, everyday items in the house, etc. It’s important that human interaction is very positive during this period as negative experiences with humans can have long-lasting effects.

If a kitten didn’t get adequate positive contact with humans during this period, it’s possible that they may be fearful around people in the future. A kitten that is socialized after this critical period, may slowly accept human contact, but it’s they might have some anxiety or stress associated with human contact. We have to keep this in mind when we think of cats that aren’t very affectionate. The above factors may have had a major effect on this.

For example, a cat born to feral parents and with little human interaction during its socialization period, will likely avoid most human interaction. They may enjoy some interaction on their own terms and display some signs of affection, but overall, are likely to avoid close human contact.

It’s important to consider if the lack of affection is a new problem or if the cat has always been like this. Particularly if it’s a new problem, it’s important to consider stress and pain as potential causes of your cat being less affectionate.

Similarly to people, if we’re stressed or in pain we’re less likely to be in a friendly mood. Stress caused by a new cat in the house, a new baby, construction worker in the house, etc., can have a huge effect on how affectionate a cat might be.

Similarly, a cat in pain, such as one with osteoarthritis, cystitis, or another underlying disease, is very likely to show less affection. A veterinary examination should be performed to rule out underlying causes if your cat is showing less affection than usual or if you’ve noticed a change in their behavior.

How To Pet A Cat Correctly

Many cats enjoy petting, but in specific ways. Touching your cat the right  way may encourage more interaction.

Some ways of approaching and petting a cat may make the cat more likely to interact with you. It might be that you’re approaching cats in a threatening or invasive way that they don’t like, so read the tips below and it might help the next time that you approach a cat.

• Make your body language as least threatening as possible (e.g., sit on the floor or crouch down). This makes you seem smaller and less threatening to the cat.
• Don’t stare directly at the cat. Slow blink and avert your gaze.
• Stretch your hand out to the cat, either holding your hold in a loose fist or open with palm facing upwards. Allow the cat inspect or sniff your hand before attempting to pet it.
• Make chirrup sounds if you can, don’t make “psssh psssh” sounds as this can sound like a hiss to some cats.
• If you know the cat’s name, say it gently.
• Don’t force interaction. The cat may sniff your hand and then walk away, and that’s OK.
• Always allow the cat to come to you. Don’t invade the cat’s space.

Ways To Bond With Your Cat

To encourage a positive bond with your cat, it’s important to respect your cat and know what they enjoy. Think like a cat! Be calm, quiet, and patient, and allow your cat to approach you.

Encourage consistent, positive, and predictable human interaction. This may come in many forms depending on what makes your cat comfortable. It may be a few short pets during the day or a cuddle on your lap in the evening. It might be sitting next to you while you read a book or greeting you in the morning.

It’s important to be consistent and keep a routine with your cat (they enjoy routine) without making sudden changes. Be patient and positive no matter what—you may want lots of cuddles, but your cats may be happy with a short pet, so respect what makes your cat comfortable.

Encourage predatory behavior from your cat. Cats are natural hunters and they enjoy displaying predatory hunting behavior. This doesn’t mean allowing them to bite your fingers or hunt down your toes, though. Encourage playtime with lots of different toys. This can increase the bond that you have with your cat by taking part in something they enjoy.

Make sure that your cat has everything it needs to be happy and healthy. Ensure that your cat has enough litter boxes, food and water stations, safe areas to rest, scratching posts, toys, and areas to escape/hide. From a health perspective, make sure your cat is free from pain, discomfort, and stress, and is on a good quality diet.

This is important because you can’t expect your cat to be comfortable and happy bonding with you if they’re stressed or suffering from an illness is in pain.

How To Bond With A New Cat

Play with your cat to increase your bond by taking part in something they enjoy.

Moving into a new home can be quite overwhelming for a new cat or new kitten, so it’s important to let them settle into their home and become familiar with everything.

Make sure that they have their own bed (including hiding areas), litter boxes, food and water bowls, and scratching posts.  Ensure that you do introductions with other pets slowly and research this beforehand.

Be patient with them while they’re settling in and let them relax in their new environment. Once they seem more relaxed, start scheduling in some playtime and see what sort of toys they prefer.

Some cats enjoy toys that have catnip added to them, while others may not. Encourage petting and affection if your cat seems interested in interacting with you. To help them become more relaxed, offer tasty treats to encourage them to approach you.

However, never withhold food based to do this (for instance, keeping the cat’s food bowl next to you so that they have no option but to interact with you in order to eat). It’s important for the cat to have a choice.

Summary

I hope you can now understand why some cats show more affection than others. There’s more than one way that a cat can show affection and it’s important to remember that cats show affection differently than humans do.

Now that you can recognize the signs, you might realize that your cat actually does show you affection, but in their own unique way. Understanding your cat will lead to a happy relationship for both of you.

All cats are different and their personalities are dependent on factors such as genetics and the human contact that they had during the early kitten socialization period. It may also be that your cat is showing you subtle signs of affection that you may not notice. If it’s a sudden change in your cat’s behavior, seek veterinary advice.

We can’t force our cats to be cuddly, but we can encourage a better bond by consistent positive human interaction, encouraging playtime, and ensuring our cats are healthy and not stressed in their environment (providing enough resources).

It might be that your cat doesn’t display affection by cuddling and that they show affection in more subtle ways. It’s important to remember that cats show their affection for us in many different ways.

It depends on how well socialized a cat was with humans during their socialization period and their genetics. With positive human interaction and understanding cat behavior, some cats may show more affection in time. It’s important to know the subtle signs of cat affection and recognize that cats show affection differently to humans.