How to show a guy you really love him

In recent articles, we have discussed how some men tend to communicate their love non-verbally. While this is important to understand when it comes to being on the receiving end of communication – it is also important when it comes to being on the giving end as well.

Table of Contents Show

Compliment him.
Ask him for his advice.
Give him long hugs.
Suggest he take ‘guy time.’
Wear that outfit you know he loves.
Give him your undivided attention.
Make him feel comfortable venting to you.
Be affectionate with him.
Show him he’s a priority.
Thank him for the little things.
In the bedroom.

Men and women communicate differently, and since communication is such a large piece of the puzzle in any relationship, it is imperative to learn each other’s ‘language.’ We have to understand that while having good intentions is fantastic, what really matters is the impact that our words or actions have on the person they are directed towards.

Therefore in order to effectively communicate, we have to be sensitive to how the person on the receiving end will interpret us, rather than just how we mean for it to come across. Since men often show their love, they will feel it more deeply when you do the same in return. Here are some suggestions for how:

Compliment him.

It may surprise women to hear how rare it is that men actually receive genuine compliments. We are consistently told to be the pursuer in dating and relationships and feel that we need to ‘win’ a woman’s attention and attraction from our competition. Regardless of how silly this may sound to women reading this, my money is on the fact that many men are nodding along with it in understanding.

For this reason, we find we are often on the giving end of compliments, especially when it comes to someone we truly care about. Regardless of how confident a man comes across, acknowledging him with genuine adoration will make him feel appreciated, and all warm and fuzzy inside.

Ask him for his advice.

This is often a point of contention between men and women, because if a woman tells a man about her problems, she is not necessarily looking for a solution [unless she specifically asks for one]. You will notice, though, that a man’s instinct is to try to provide one anyway, when he should just be listening and providing her with the support she needs to find the solution herself.

What this shows, though, is a man’s instinct to be a problem solver and to fix things. It makes him feel useful, wanted, and needed. For this reason, asking him for his advice will allow him to flex his problem solving muscles and make him feel like he is really contributing to your life.

Give him long hugs.

Men often communicate physically. Whether it be through body language, putting his arm around you, or how he tends to stand up taller when other men are around – it is a language he instinctively understands. This provides women with a great opportunity to be close to him physically and also send a very important message of love that he wants to hear [feel]. Holding on to him just a little longer or hugging him just a little tighter will show him the affection he desires.

Suggest he take ‘guy time.’

Whether it is time alone for him, or time with his friends, it’s important for all of us to be able to unwind every once in awhile. Your support and encouragement for him to do some things that aren’t necessarily productive like spending a full day on his XBox every now and then will feel like a loving reward. Regardless of what a man’s guilty pleasure(s) or indulgences are, not feeling judged for them is a great way to show you care.

Wear that outfit you know he loves.

Here is a revolutionary piece of news I’m sure nobody has ever heard before: Men are visual creatures. Shocking, I know. But it’s the truth – men, if you haven’t noticed, respond highly to visual stimuli, particularly from the woman in their lives.

But there’s more to it than just looking good. If a man sees you in something you know he loves, he will know that you are putting in effort to look good for him. Regardless of how long you have been together, this is a great way to show him that you desire him as he desires you. Not entirely sure what he likes best? Science says the safe bet is to go with red.

Give him your undivided attention.

This, of course, goes both ways. Inevitably when I write an article about men or women someone always chimes in and tells me it is a universal thing rather than gender specific. This is obvious. But since this is an article about men, that will be the focus.

An important note on this point is that we know women multitask better than men do. This means you could be checking your email and still be giving him your attention. But it brings us back to impact over intention – while you may feel that way, he may not fully understand it. This means a great way to show him he’s got your full attention is to actually give it to him.

Make him feel comfortable venting to you.

Men are often told that we should be the strong ones, which usually [incorrectly] translates to being unemotional. While I fully believe that showing emotion requires more strength than holding it in, societal constructs can say otherwise. This means that there are few safe places for men to really open up and vent about what’s bothering them, regardless of how badly they want to.

If you provide that safe place for him, it will be a welcomed gesture of love and affection. The happiest relationships come when two people are able to be open and honest with each other, and that honesty is a byproduct of being able to speak freely without fear of being judged.

Be affectionate with him.

As simple as this one is, it is often overlooked. Small things like hand-holding, walking arm in arm with him, or resting your head on his shoulder (or chest if you’re laying down) make him feel like he’s one with you, and protecting you from harm – something all good men should want to do.

Even if you don’t need his protection, giving it to you is often a man’s way of showing his love. Therefore, providing him with the opportunity to feel that way is a great method to showing it in return.

Show him he’s a priority.

We all have busy lives. Friends, family, work…things can get crazy. It’s unrealistic to put a significant other before all of these things all the time – but make sure you include him where you can, and don’t let him feel boxed out, shuffled to the bottom of the deck, or unwanted if you get too busy.

Time is the most valuable asset any of us have, because we can’t get it back after we spend it. Therefore, it is also the most important gift we can give to someone.

Thank him for the little things.

A good man should always be willing to do this little things for you. Whether it is picking up your prescription at the pharmacy or taking out the trash, these are some of the ways he shows his love by providing for you. Showing appreciation to a man for doing these things is something that appears frequently in my articles because it is an important point to make.

One of the most valuable things we can hear as men is “I appreciate you.” In a society where men are frequently being reminded that women don’t need us, we really do crave feeling wanted. Even needed – regardless of if we really are. Men thrive on providing, protecting, and having these efforts be acknowledged.

It is easy for all of us to get so caught up in our busy lives that we overlook acknowledgment of small efforts put forth by others – but the truth is that these are the things that mean the most because it shows willingness to do something for you, just because. Showing your appreciation for these things may take just seconds out of your day, but they will make a big difference in his life – as well as motivate him to put in even more effort because he knows he is appreciated.

In the bedroom.

Yes, it had to come up eventually. This may sound juvenile or caveman-like or whatever you want to call it, but the uncensored truth is that one of the best things you can do for the man you love is to be physically intimate with him. I have always operated under the guidelines that the woman always comes first in the bedroom [no pun intended…well, maybe]…but it also has to be a two way street.

I won’t get into too many details on this one – but we are all adults here, you can use your imagination!

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Love is a complex emotion that can be shown in a wide variety of ways. Whether or not you and your partner have already exchanged those three little words with each other, there are plenty of ways you can show him how you feel without having to say a thing.

Do something to make his day easier. Whether it’s running errands for him, getting chores done around the house, or quickly dropping off lunch for him during a busy day at work, small and large favors can take a huge weight off someone’s shoulders. By going out of your way to make your guy’s life a bit less stressful, you’re showing him that you’re willing to sacrifice your own time and energy to make him happy. If that isn’t love, what is?

Pamper him. Society encourages women to participate in self-care, but men often receive the message that they need to be “rugged.” Take some time to give the guy you’re dating a taste of a spa treatment at home. Draw him a bath, give him a massage, and do a mud mask together. Giving him the opportunity and guidance to slow down and give his body a treat is an act of love he may be unfamiliar with but he’ll definitely appreciate it.

Surprise him with something you know he likes. Do you feel loved when your partner surprises you with flowers or your favorite ice cream? Find the chance to do the same for him. Have his favorite meal delivered to his house on a night that you’re apart or buy him a t-shirt you saw him admiring at the store. These “just because” gifts let him know that you pay attention to what he likes, and you can bet that he’ll notice.

Write him a note. Just because you’re not saying “I love you” doesn’t mean you can’t express your feelings toward him with words. A handwritten note telling him all the things you appreciate about him is a sweet, old-fashioned way to express all the things you find great about him that he might not even see in himself. Give it to him after a particularly tough day at work or put it on his bathroom counter for him to find if you want to help him have a great start to his morning.

Set him up with high-quality “me time.” No matter how crazy he is about you, the guy you’re dating probably values his alone time as well. One night, give him a date with himself — for example, lay out his favorite video game, order him a pizza, and prepare him his drink of choice. Then just leave him to it, even if that just means going to a separate room and doing your own thing for an hour or two. This gesture shows that as much as you love spending time with him, you also care for him enough to respect his need to have time to himself.

Go all-out for him in bed. Paying special attention to your partner’s pleasure in bed isn’t just a display of sexual selflessness — it can also be a display of love. Put on his favorite lingerie, have him lie on his back, and then go to town. Make an effort to show that tonight is all about what he wants (within your comfort zone, of course), and he’ll definitely get the picture that you more than just “like” him.

Feed him. Giving someone food is a nearly universal gesture of love and respect. Spend some extra time spoiling your guy’s stomach to show him how you really feel about him. Learn to cook his favorite food or plan out a three-course meal for a romantic DIY date night at home. If cooking isn’t your forte, take him to an amazing bakery and satisfy his sweet tooth.

Take him on a romantic (or fun) date. It’s 2019, and the days of men being the only ones who spoil their partners on dates are long over. Guys enjoy being taken out too and your partner will take it as a pretty big display of love if you go out of your way to plan a date for him. Cater it to what you think he’d like — would a romantic wine-and-dine night suit his preference or would he prefer to spend some time playing paintball with you before chowing down on some wings? Whether he likes his dates fun or fancy, your effort won’t go unnoticed.

Let him be vulnerable with you. Sometimes, the most loving moments come during the most difficult times. Just being there for your partner when he needs you the most can show him how much you really care about him, especially if he feels like he needs to put on a brave face for everyone else. Let him cry into your arms if he’s facing an overwhelming or tragic time in his life or bring him a cold washcloth and medicine if he’s sick in bed. Your support will mean just as much as three little words.

Try something he loves (even if you think you won’t like it). Love often means sacrifice, even in small amounts. You should never do something you’re completely uncomfortable with, but stepping out of your comfort zone for your partner can mean a lot to him. Watch his favorite movie with him (even if it bores you to sleep) or let him teach you how to play his favorite card game (even if you feel like you’ll never understand it). This kind of selflessness can go a long way in showing how you really feel about him.

Diana Jones Diana is a writer and waitress living in Tennessee with her "fur family" (two cats and a ferret). When she's not working, you can find her hiking, cooking, or taking really long naps.