What do dogs think about when they stare at you

You’re sitting watching TV — but your dog only has eyes for you. You’re cooking dinner, and the pooch is laser-focused on your face. You head to the bathroom and… you get the idea. If there’s one thing almost all dogs do well, it’s stare at their owners. And stare. And stare.

But why do they do it? There are four main reasons: attention, confusion, desire, and direction.

Attention
Your dog wants you to notice her. This one is often tied into desire because she wants you to do something for her, but it’s not necessarily as specific as “rub my belly” or “throw me the ball.” When your dog wants attention, those things are fine, but she’ll probably be just as happy with any kind of love and affection from you — after she’s had exercise and discipline, of course.

Confusion
Do you ever talk to yourself while engaging in a task and find that your pup is watching you closely, seemingly following every word? Another reason that dogs stare at us is because they are trying to figure out what we want from them. They don’t want to miss a possible cue or get yelled at for doing something wrong. Plus, sometimes they’re just curious about what the heck we’re doing!

Desire
I mentioned desire earlier when talking about attention, but it goes a lot deeper than the examples I cited. In fact, this is the type of staring dog owners tend to notice most often, because it covers a variety of “wants” from their pups — everything from “feed me, I’m hungry” to “toss the ball” to “I need to go for a walk” to, yes, “rub my belly.” Staring while engaging in a specific action, such as holding his leash in his mouth, is your dog’s way of saying: “This is what I want. I will make you give it to me by controlling you with my eyes.” Okay, technically, that’s not exactly what they’re saying, but you get the idea.

Direction
The final reason that dogs stare is they want you to tell them what to do. In some ways, this is related to confusion, but it’s not as straightforward as them making a general attempt to figure out what’s going on. When a dog stares for direction, it’s often because they are in the midst of training or some other kind of specific activity and want to know what to do next.

There is one more stare that it is vital to understand. Some dogs possess an aggressive stare that essentially says, “Don’t mess with me” or “I’m going to take you out.” Before assuming that a dog’s stare is friendly, make sure you pay attention to the rest of their body language, or you could put yourself in harm’s way.

So the next time you notice your dog burning a hole through you with her eyes, don’t assume that she’s just expressing her undying devotion. If you pay attention to the context clues, you may discover that she’s trying to communicate something much more specific.

A: Yes, they probably just want something from you—a meal, a walk, or maybe a scratch behind the ears—and is waiting for you to notice. 

You seem to always feel it. You’ll be half-watching some Netflix series, or writing a semi-polite email to your least-favorite coworker when you have the unshakeable sensation that you’re being watched. And, sure enough, you look over and your dog is sitting there, focusing their attention— and both of their eyeballs—right on you. So what gives?

In short, dogs stare for a number of reasons, but mainly, it’s a way for them to communicate with you.

Reasons Why Dogs Stare

They Want Something From You

Dogs use their behavior, like staring, to get the things they want, says dog trainer and animal behaviorist Melanie Cerone, Ph.D., BCBA, CPDT-KA. Things like:

• Food
• Attention
• Petting
• A game of fetch

“Dogs stare at us because we, their caregivers, reinforce them for doing so in a variety of ways,” says Cerone.

Basically, our dogs know that if they just look at us, we’ll give them whatever they want. For example, if dogs watch us while we’re eating, we might give them a bite of whatever we’re having. Or if they look at us while we’re working or watching TV, we might be prompted to pet them, talk to them, or take them out for a walk.

“If you think about it, we are the source of all good things for our dogs,” Cerones explains. “They depend on us for all of their food; daily enrichment, such as walks, play, and training; attention, including petting and praise; and comfort when they are fearful or anxious. Staring can serve a communication function for dogs. It’s a way for them to let us know that they need or want one of these good things.”

It's a Look of Love

Do dogs ever stare at us just because they like us a lot? Actually, yes.

“Sometimes when our dogs stare at us, it encourages us to provide them with attention, which is also a major reward,” says Aubrey Sperry, CDBC, CPDT-KA, owner and head trainer at Sit Pretty Dog Training in Massachussetts.

That act helps to promote social bonding. “Research has been done that indicates both humans and dogs experience an increase in [the ‘feel good’ hormone] oxytocin after staring into each other’s eyes,” Sperry says.

So it goes something like this: the dog stares, we look back, reward them with our love and affection, the bond between dog and human grows. Rinse and repeat. How sweet?

It's a Sign of Aggression

While dog stares are often loving or solicitous, they can sometimes signify more negative emotions. Staring or holding eye contact may indicate that a dog is fearful, anxious or uncomfortable in some way, Cerone explains.

If a dog is staring at you while guarding their food bowl or a favorite toy, then both Cerone and Sperry say that can be a signal to back off. (This behavior is known as “resource guarding.”)

The same goes for a “hard stare” that accompanies a rigid posture or stiffened tail. “This behavior precedes more intense behaviors such as growling, lunging, and biting,” Sperry adds.

This may be more common with houseguests than the pet parents themselves, since some dogs are wary of strangers. “Typically, I see this with strangers approaching dogs more than with pet dogs at home interacting with their owners,” Sperry says.

Note to self: It’s also not a good idea for us to stare at dogs we don’t know.

“Dogs can perceive direct eye contact from unfamiliar people as a threatening gesture,” Cerone says. “So when meeting a dog for the first time, it’s typically best to avoid making direct eye contact with, staring at, or leaning over the dog, particularly if the dog is fearful or anxious of new people.”

If you have a dog, you probably spend a lot of time trying to figure out dog behavior and looking up the answers to questions like “Why does my dog follow me?” (if you’re on your way to the kitchen it’s pretty obvious!), “Can my dog see color?” or “Why does my dog stare at me?” Like us, dogs are complex creatures, and it can be hard to know what your dog’s facial expressions really mean.

When you’re asking them to sit or giving them a treat, eye contact means that their attention is on you and that they’re ready to (hopefully) listen. But sometimes your pup will look at you without being prompted, or give you the doggy side-eye when you’re not even doing anything interesting, just watching TV. Unless you’re doing one of these things that your dog actually hates, there are a few reasons why your dog might stare at you—even when you don’t call his name or do something to get his attention.

Why does my dog stare at me?

In general, dogs use eye contact to gain information and understand what their human wants them to do, says Philip Tedeschi, professor and researcher on the human-animal bond with Rover. “Dogs use eye contact as reassurance and understanding in very similar ways that humans do, to ascertain interpersonal connection and reaction. This helps us connect with them as well,” he says.

In especially good news for pooch parents, science confirms that dogs use eye contact to express affection. How do you tell if a dog loves you? Well, if he stares at you, it’s a good sign! “Just like humans gaze into each other’s eyes to show love and affection, so does your dog,” says Tedeschi. “In fact, one study showed that the ‘cuddle’ hormone oxytocin increases in both humans and dogs when they exchange a loving gaze.”

However, Tedeschi points out that if the eye contact between a dog and a human is too long or too intense it might lead to discomfort in the dog—similar to the way two humans staring at each other for a prolonged period of time would make them uncomfortable. So what do you do if your dog stares at you? Look back, but not for too long. Dogs get awkward, too!

Do dogs use eye contact to try to communicate with humans?

Eye contact is actually not a natural instinct for dogs, but over time they learn that eye contact can often lead to attention or food from their humans. So, if you see your dog looking to the side, or notice he’s staring at you in a classic, cute, looking-up puppy eyes kind of way, it probably means he wants something.

“Dogs will often stare when you’re doing something that piques their curiosity—like grilling up something that smells tasty or opening the cupboard where the treats are—to see if they can get in on the fun too,” says Tedeschi. So, next time you catch your hound staring, try giving him a cuddle. If you’re curious, here’s why dogs sometimes tilt their heads when looking at you.

If your dog sees another dog while you’re out for a walk, he might look at the other dog briefly to catch the dog’s attention, but when two dogs stare at each other it’s actually a sign of hostility.

“You’ll more frequently see dogs turning away from each other in order to avoid eye contact as sustained staring can be a sign of aggression,” says Tedeschi. “Prolonged eye contact rarely occurs in friendly exchanges between two dogs.” When two dogs meet for the first time, always approach with caution and never just let your dog run up to an unknown dog. You don’t know how other canines will react. That’s just one of the mistakes dog owners should never make.

Why does my dog stare at me when he goes to the bathroom?

“When dogs are defecating, they feel like they are vulnerable, so he’s looking to you to protect him and for safety cues as he goes,” says Tedeschi. Most dogs also learn that if they go to the bathroom outside when and where they’re supposed to, they will be rewarded with a treat, so they stare at you to make sure you know that they are doing their business. Yes, it’s a bit awkward, but you can reassure your dog by saying something soothing instead.

So now you know: your dog stares at you because he wants to express affection, make sure he’s safe, or check on his chances of getting food or snuggles. Think you’re a dog expert? Test yourself to see how much you know in our definitive guide to what dogs want.

Source: 

• Philip Tedeschi, Professor and researcher on the human-animal bond with Rover.com

Originally Published: March 15, 2022