Why does my cat lick and bite her kittens?

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Cats are adorable creatures that most people enjoy having around. They tend to be very affectionate, especially with their owners. However, this can lead to some unwanted behaviors like licking and biting. These actions might seem cute at first, but they can become harmful if your cat continues them over time. Have you ever been licked by your cat and then bitten afterward? This article will explore why cats lick and then bite afterward and some tips on how to stop this from happening.

1. She is overstimulated

Cats are natural cuddlers, and they love to be petted. They love being scratched behind their ears and given lots of little rubs for them to enjoy, but most importantly, you need to provide an ample amount. When cats feel too petted, it can lead to "petting-induced aggression." When this happens, their sweet and laidback nature will come out as they lash out at the person or animal who has been so kind.

If you try to pet your cat and she starts giving off a mild hiss, this could be because of an issue with their fur. Usually, it is thought that there are nerve endings attached to the cat furs, and when she is petted for a long time, it becomes uncomfortable for her.

Your cat may be in a state of overstimulation if she has dilated eyes or turned back ears. This can also mean that you'll see her tail going at speeds faster than average, which is flicking up and down rapidly as well.  If this happens, don't worry; make sure there's enough time for playtime, too, and stop petting so they won't reach the state of overstimulation.

Some cats are more sensitive than others when it comes to having their fur touched. Some may tolerate petting for longer periods in some places, while other places on the same cat could make them yowl in pain. Cats are very good at masking their emotions, but if you stay alert to what your cat is doing and feeling, petting sessions won't feel like an unpleasant obligation.

2. She wants you to play with her

Cats are always looking for ways to be active and mentally stimulating. If your cat has been nosing around in toy boxes, playing with string or fur, pawing at books, then it's time that you let them out. When they lick and bite you and the toys are around, the toy is something of interest or value in their world that gives them pleasure when playing around.

It is always important to be on the lookout for your kitty's mood. Cats have unique ways of communicating their needs, so you don't need to be an expert at reading them. A quick way of knowing if a cat wants playtime or not would be by looking deep into its eyes; if they have dilated pupils, arched back, ears and whiskers pointed forward, it means she is in the mood to play.

You can easily differentiate between playing and overstimulation. If she is happy to see you and wants more attention, then it's a sign that they're into playtime. Otherwise, if she tenses up from being too stimulated by what was going on around them at any point during this encounter, she will move away. Especially since their body language may give hints, you'll know for certain there has been some negative reaction that starts this issue. Licking, biting, and nuzzling against you is a cat's way of telling you that she trusts you and wants to play with you.

3. She is grooming you

Watching your cats groom themselves can be very entertaining. You'll see them lick their coat with the occasional nibble of skin. Some cats like to groom themselves by licking and nibbling on various parts of their body, while others might be doing it as a sign that they're in pain from flea bites. Make sure you know what is considered normal for your kitty.

Cats that regularly lick and bite their human owners are just doing the same to themselves. However, your cat might not know that her biting can hurt you. If your cat bites you after giving you a cleaning lick, start moving her mouth away before she can bite. Instead, distract her by starting playing with her. If this does not work for whatever reason, try giving them treats one at a time while continuing playtime as well.

It may seem like an endless cycle until finally everything has been resolved without any further problems, and your kitty understands that the grooming session is over. It's a good idea to never scold your cat for biting you. After all, they don't necessarily know why it was wrong and might only do so out of instinct rather than on purpose.

Cats are well-known for their mutual grooming behavior. It's a bonding ritual in which they lick each other to get rid of any oils or dirt left on the cat's coat by touch alone, so this may be an indication that your feline friend sees you as part of their social group too. It's not hard to see why your cat would want you all to herself. By licking and grooming her human, your kitty is trying to strengthen her bond with you.

4. She is feeling stressed

Cats are one of the most calming and expressive animals, but sometimes they can show their stress by licking or biting. Your kitty may start excessive grooming that can lead her to pull out hairs until she has scratches down both sides of her head. If your hand happens to be close enough for them to grab onto it with their teeth, they may end up licking and then biting you instead.

Cats can get stressed out by many reasons such as loud noises and rapid changes in temperature or lighting conditions, too much time spent indoors, not enough space to play or explore, seeing another animal come into their territory, and the moving house often poses many additional difficulties. If your kitty is under enough pressure, she may start acting differently than usual too. You can use a pheromone diffuser to help your kitty relieve her stress.

5. Your cat is expressing her love

Cats are known for making small bites when they're affectionate with one another. This behavior is also seen in kittens. It is a common behavioral interaction that cats usually engage in. This ritualistic "small bite" can be perceived as an act of affection between cat and owner, mainly if the petted animal happens to curl up with its human partner.

Your cat is showing you how much they care by giving affectionate licks and bites. This could be an attempt at cuddling, or it may just want to play rough. You can still show and accept plenty of affection from your cat, just not the love bites. If she nips at you when in play or if things get too intense, it's time to distract her with toys or treats.

Conclusion

As you can see, there are plenty of reasons why your cat may be licking and biting you. However, the most common reason is that they're trying to groom you or expressing their love to you. However, sometimes this licking and biting behavior becomes too intense, so a vet visit might be in order if none of these things apply so you can rule out any underlying medical issues.

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References and Citations

Has your kitty 😺 ever been on your lap licking you and then seemingly out of nowhere nips you? 

Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

If you are anything like me, I bet you have asked yourself many times the same question: Why do cats bite and then lick you?

As I’m sure you are aware, cats have limited ways to express themselves, with some of the most common being meowing, purring, licking, and well, biting. 

But why would they combine licking, a positive seemingly loving gesture with a nip – an undesirable behavior?  The simple answer is they may be trying to communicate something.  

What? Well, the short answer is nobody knows with certainty. That’s the million-dollar 💰 question.

The truth of the matter is that unless you went to Dr. Doolittle’s University or somehow you can speak cat 🤭, it is virtually impossible to know exactly what every cat means with their biting-then-licking or licking-then-biting behavior. 

Given that this behavior is very dependent on both the situation and you individual cat's purrrrsonalty, all we can do as their pet parents is to try to observe their bite-then-lick cues and try to make sense of them.

Overtime, hopefully you will develop the ability to understand what they mean in every situation. In this blog post I discuss my experience with this behavior along with my own interpretation in 9 different scenarios. I have also included a great educational video 📽️ on over stimulation. This is a must watch.

Granted, keep in mind that every cat is different, and they also speak different cat dialects. 😊 Two cats living under the same roof will use the bite-then-lick to communicate different things. So, you may find that some of the reasons and situations below may or may not apply to your individual cat.

Full disclosure, I’m no cat psychologist or behaviorist but I do have over 20 years as a cat Momma raising 4 precious kitties and my goal with this blog is to share my experience observing this behavior for over 2 decades.

For pet parents looking for more cat care guides, make sure not to miss the read further section. My blog is packed 📚 with resources.

It's Play Time

Probably the most common situation for an unexpected nip is during play time – but perhaps you didn’t know it was playtime. 

Picture this: You’ve just gotten home from work and finally sit down to relax a bit.  Your kitty jumps on your lap and licks your arm sweetly then nips you!  What was that for!?

While you’re tired after a long day, your cat has been home likely sleeping.  Now that their favorite person is home it’s time to use up that stored energy to play!  It’s kind of a welcome home, now come play with me response.

What I've found with my cats was in that scenario that nip meant hey, get off your butt and play with me! 

Pro tip: If you’re trying to avoid the lick-nip combo, keep a laser pointer or a wand toy nearby so you can sit and entertain your kitty at the same time.

The licking and nipping combination can also occur during playtime.  It’s not uncommon for a kitty to do this with a toy they’ve captured.  If you’re trying to retrieve said toy, you may get some licks and/or bites too.

A word of caution: start play sessions before the nip occurs. If you let snuggle, nip, play become a routine, your kitty will associate the order with how to get what they want.

Showing Love

Have you ever watched a litter of kittens all snuggled together? Have you ever noticed how they lick and nip at one another? Those little nips are what you’ve frequently heard of as “love bites.”

Similarly, cats might have the same behavior towards us pet parents. The only difference is cats have tougher skin, so a nip isn’t painful to them like it is to us.

"This show of love from your kitty can prove to be a bit painful... [but] your cat really doesn't understand her love bite isn't always pleasant for you." - Dr. Karen Becker

While you’d likely prefer just the lick and not the bite, unfortunately we don’t get to pick and choose which of the many ways your kitty shows you affection.

When the bite is light and doesn’t break the skin, it’s just a slightly more aggressive way to show their love.

Grooming and Bonding

Do you ever watch your kitty during a full grooming session?  Have you ever noticed how they lick a lot and then nibble in certain areas? 

Something similar could be inferred when they groom you. I’ve met cats that will have a field day grooming their human’s hair. Unfortunately, their hair styling techniques tend to leave you more disheveled in the end.

For cats, grooming is a way in which they bond with one another. Doing this to you might also mean they want to bond with you. 

I remember times where my Moosie cat would let me rub his belly and then those rubbies would turn into a formal grooming session of my arm.

The problem is a cat’s tongue is like sandpaper so it’s not easy as a human to be groomed in the same spot for any length of time.

When the licking got to be too much, I would try to pull my arm away, which inevitably resulted in a little nip with continued licking. Oh, the price we have to pay for a kitty that loves us. 😊

Marking You

Cats, like many other animals, rely on scent a lot more than we humans do.

For us, scent is mostly an accompaniment to taste, and while we can get a general bit of information from it (something smells good or bad), we don't get identities, marked locations, or other meaningful information.

Your cat, on the other hand, is much more driven by scent. When they rub their face against you, when they nibble at and lick you, they're marking you with a bit of their scent.

This is perhaps their way of ensuring that any other cats in the area know that you've been claimed as a member of their family.  

Marking is usually done with facial scent glands rather than biting or licking, but all three can be involved.

So don’t be surprised if your cat is rubbing their face on you and they alsogo in for a little lick and nibble.

You Taste Good

Ok this may seem a little silly, but nibbles and licks can also indicate that you just plain taste good.

Maybe it's a bit of salt on your skin from sweating after exercising or working in the garden.

Or maybe it's some flavoring or chemical in the hand lotion you use. Perhaps you just made a sandwich, and your kitty can still smell and taste the cold cut you handled.

While you might taste good, this can be tricky situation if your cat keeps nibbling and licking you. If you just put on lotion for example, you need to consider the things your cat might be ingesting.

Handling plain cooked meat is fine, but chicken seasoned with garlic and onions is dangerous.

A hand cream or lotion might include ingredients that are toxic to your furry friend and the last thing you want is for them to get sick after giving you a lick!

Be mindful of what you’ve touched and if you’ve been handling substances dangerous for your kitty, wash your hands before snuggling up.

Attention Seeking

Cats can seek attention for any number of reasons and how they do it can vary. Perhaps you decided to sleep in on the weekend and you’ve missed your kitty’s normal breakfast time. 

You might be awakened by your furry alarm clock meowing.  Or maybe they come to snuggle and gently lick you awake.  If you still don’t get up they may move on to a little nip.

While many cats might just sit and stare at you with a dirty look, the lick-nip combo is pretty common when you’re not responding in a timely fashion.  Remember you’re the servant. 😉

Telling You to Stop

Up until this point we’ve talked about positive or playful reasons you kitty licks and bites.  But these actions aren’t always a good thing.

Probably the most common reason for a nip to follow licking is when they are giving you a warning.

Overstimulation

Many people aren’t familiar with reactions of an overstimulated cat.  I’ve only ever met one kitty that gets overstimulated and that’s my parent’s rescue kitty, Tiki.

Overstimulation refers to a cat's normal response to being touched in areas or ways the cat finds uncomfortable, or that have gone on for too long. Many cats exhibit overstimulation or petting-induced aggression. Maddie’s Fund

A little background - Tiki is a healthy young adult cat and when he first joined the family he didn’t know how to play with toys and was a little unsure of how to interact with people.

When he settled on my lap I gave him lots of rubbies which one minute he loved and the next he did not – CHOMP. I was surprised to learn he did this regularly with my parents. It was clear Tiki was being overstimulated.

While Tiki enjoyed the petting, at a certain point it flipped to being overwhelming for him. Some cats will just hop down when they are done being petted, while others will react more negatively.

A similar ‘STOP where you are’ warning might come from you petting or scratching an off-limits area. 

Getting kisses when you’re scratching your kitty’s cheeks can quickly turn into a nip if you move to their belly and it’s a no-touch zone.  You might be familiar with the belly trap!

Check out this video on cat overstimulation:

It’s important to recognize the subtle changes in your kitty’s body to avoid reaching the point of overstimulation. 

I’ve learned when I visit Tiki, even if he jumps on my lap, headbutts, and licks me, a nip will come if I pet him continuously for more than a minute or two.

If you suspect overstimulation to be the cause of the lick-bite combo, keep an eye out for signs of agitation, like their tail flicking around or their ears laying back. If your kitty gets squirmy, it’s time to back off.

Stress and Frustration

If your furry friend is stressed, anxious, frustrated, in pain, or suffering from some illness, they might lick or even bite at you to express it. 

It's pretty similar to how we humans might get snappy or yell or sullenly throw off attempts at affection. Your precious feline may be suffering in some way, and they're expressing it the only way they know how.

Sometimes this can be as simple as frustration that they're hungry and want food and you're not giving it to them.

Sometimes it can mean they have some kind of ache or pain that they can't deal.

Look for patterns of behavior to gain insight, then chat with your vet to make sure there are no health-related issues at play.

Pain

During a regular petting session your kitty may purr with delight and reward you with some licking.

But what does it mean when they suddenly turn and bite the hand that’s been stroking them? If your kitty is on the older side, it’s very likely due to pain.

Remember, cats are experts as hiding illness and pain, it’s a survival mechanism.  You might think your cat is fine but they are just masking the weakness.

If you get nipped while you’re petting your kitty pay attention to where your hand was when the nip occurred.

It could be as simple as your kitty doesn’t like their paws touched or something more serious like arthritis in their spine.

My 18-year-old calico Sosa has given me warning nips before when I’ve been brushing her. One minute she’ll lick at the brush and the next she’ll jerk around and nip toward me. 

I quickly realized the sensitive area is on her right hip.  While she checks out fine at the vet, she clearly has something going on in that area that I’m irritating when brushing.

If you suspect your kitty is in pain, talk with your veterinarian.  There are medications that can help and even natural pain relief treatment options such as acupuncture, the Assisi Loop or CBD tinctures for dogs and cats.

Understanding Cat Behavior

"Cats have their own language they use to communicate and we need to learn that language to be good companions ourselves.”  - Aaron Archer - Ontario SPCA

Your cat can bite and lick you when they want you to stop doing something, but, they can also bite and lick you when they want your attention and want you to play with them. 

I know It can be confusing. So, how can you tell the difference? A lot can be inferred by learning their body language.

To help figure out an underlying message, pay attention to how your kitty’s body is responding.

• What is their tail doing? If it's up in the air, odds are your cat is chipper and ready to play. If it's down and twitchy, they're probably a little more agitated.
• What are their ears doing? If they're perked up and forward, the lick-bite probably means they want to play. If they're laid down and back, it's time to back off.
• What else are they doing? If they nibble at you and jump around, particularly pawing at a toy – or even bringing the toy to you – they may want to play. If they try to get away and hide, it's time to leave them be.

Misinterpreting these signals is one of the biggest reasons why people think cats are aloof and difficult to handle.

The behavior of the bite and lick combo is shared between both affection and warning, and not paying attention to other signals can end negatively.

Learning to recognize any early warning signals will help the bond between you and your kitty grow stronger.

Are you having any trouble figuring out why your furry feline friend is biting and then licking you? Do you have any potential questions regarding the situation? If so, please feel free to leave a comment down below, and I'd be more than happy to assist you with your situation however I possibly can! 

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